Paying with Cash: How to Cover Cheating Expenses

image001“Pay in cash so that there are no proofs of spent money”

There’s no way to cover up credit card bills. Clearly, you have to pay cash if you want to keep your wife and your mistress to different parts of your life. However, withdrawing a lot of cash from the ATM can also tip your wife off that you’re running around on the side. Here are three great ways to get cash out of your account without giving your wife anything to be suspicious about.

Claim an Expensive Parking Ticket

dtho ticket 2.jpg      Traffic Wardens / Parking Ticket“Make a false story of getting a parking ticket”

If you have to get a lot of cash soon and don’t have the time to save up then you’re going to need to use this great cover story. It shouldn’t be hard to fake being angry about a made up parking ticket. Just go home and tell your wife that you got an expensive parking violation ticket today. Make up some offense, loudly complain about the officer who issued it, and tell your wife that you’re going to contest it in court when the ticket comes in the mail in a few days. Then just make sure that you’re the one picking up the mail, change your mind about contesting it, and “pay the fine.” You then have the cash and a good reason why it’s missing.

Get Cash Back at the Grocery Store

Another great way to get cash takes a little bit longer. Every time you go pick something up at the grocery store, get ten or twenty dollars in cash back and add that to your grocery list. There are plenty of cover stories that you can use to make the expense seem justified. Maybe things are running more expensive than usual. Maybe things you needed weren’t on sale when you thought that they were. Either way you can take the cash out and save it up for when you want to treat your extra lady to a night on the town. By incorporating the money you’re taking from your regular bills you won’t arouse suspicion. Try it for two weeks and you’ll probably have enough to get yourself a subscription to a cheater’s website for a month.

Always save Your Change

Squirreling your change away in a big jar can feel pointless to a lot of people. You’re not going to drag your bucket of pennies with you on a date, so what’s the point? The point is that you can get a bank to convert that change to crisp bills that you can use to take the edge off your date night expenses. If you save your change from every purchase for a few weeks you’ll be able to turn that lunch date into a lunch for one according to your credit card statement. Your wife won’t think to question where the fifty cents left over from every transaction is going, and you don’t have to deal with any potential embarrassment from paying for your date with your piggy bank savings.

Make sure that you have a safe place to hide all this cash while you’re saving up. Your wife is going to get suspicious if she finds sixty extra dollars in your pocket for no reason. Keep that money stashed somewhere safe and be confident you won’t get caught when you buy your mistress a nice meal.

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