When you’re having an affair it’s not as if you can tell your wife that you’re going out for a few hours and will be back whenever. She’ll be suspicious and everything that you’ve been working to keep a secret will be exposed. So when the time calls for you to run off and have a quickie with your mistress, you’ve got to be prepared. Keeping these few tips in mind will make everything run smoother and better.
Keep Condoms in Your Car
Even if your mistress says that she’s on birth control, you shouldn’t trust her. That’s not to say that she’s lying but assuming that she’s bullshitting you will make you more likely to wear protection (hopefully). Unfortunately, most guys don’t care or think about getting an STI when they’re with a strange woman, but if you get her pregnant then she’s going to be in your life for a long, long time. Plus having a lovechild is sort of worse than just screwing around with another woman. So keep condoms in your car. However, if you live in a very warm place that’s not going to be the best option, so you’ll have to chance carrying condoms with you. Having the party balloons on hand will ensure that you can get it on at a moment’s notice.
Cyber Foreplay to Save Time
“Indulge in foreplay in advance”
When you find the time to secretly sneak away to have a quickie with your mistress you’re going to have to skip the foreplay. So instead be prepared to get your cyber sex on. If your wife says that she has to go to her weekly team building meeting tonight at six then you can text your side woman all day about the nasty things that you want to do to her. While you can spend some time on foreplay for her, you’ll be sacrificing the possibility of cumming yourself. You only have a very small amount of time, so choose wisely.
A side note on foreplay for her: If we were helping you be a gentleman with a regular quickie then we would absolutely recommend giving her some foreplay so that she can cum for sure. But since she’s your side woman you’re not exactly trying to keep this going until marriage. So we say why bother? Yeah, if she finishes that would be great, but let’s be honest. You’re having an affair to get off, not to please more women.
Think About Clean-up
“Keep wet wipes with you for clean-up”
Sex smells. This isn’t a bad thing normally, but it is when it’s going to give you away. So when you go out keep some wet wipes in your car. They’re non-incriminating because they’re useful all of the time. But you’re going to use them to wipe down your crotch and your pits. Any sweat needs to be removed because it will smell like sex. While you’re actually having sex, put your clothes in the other room or air them outside of a window. That way they won’t catch the scent either.